Welcoming Emmeline: My Water Birth Story
I was beginning to grow anxious at the end of my pregnancy when I could not feel the baby move much due to an anterior placenta and high amniotic fluid levels. Though I still felt comfortable and was cherishing my final days of pregnancy, I had started to lose sleep over inconsistent kick counts. I shared my concerns with my midwife, Katie, and she went over my options with me, acknowledging that my anxiety was wearing on me more each day that passed. She said a gentle natural induction was indicated if that was what I wanted. I appreciated her delicate handling of my feelings, knowing that autonomy was very important to me and I had battled anxiety in this pregnancy in part due to our losses last year. We decided on a stretch and sweep of my membranes at the birth center first on the 9th, and I would follow that with the midwife’s brew, a smoothie-like cocktail of lemon verbena + almond butter + a bit of castor oil a day or two after. I had a non-stress test that same day at the office and when that showed inconsistencies, I went in for an ultrasound and biophysical profile at Fair Oaks Hospital. My midwife friend and client Chloe said baby was doing great based on the results, and I was able to go home.
We continued the plan and at 6:30am the next morning on August 10th at 39 weeks, I drank the midwife’s brew. I planned to go back to sleep and let it work its magic, but 15 minutes later as I was about to get into bed, I felt the first contraction. Then more followed every 2 minutes and I rested through them while lying on my side. The kids woke up and watched a show. I was thankful it was a Saturday in summer so we didn’t have to get them off to school or camp. At 7:15am, I texted Katie and Heidi (my friend/birth photographer) to update them. The contractions were not painful at that point and I was walking around helping with the kids and prepping the birth space. We were all excited and I remember the kids being so joyful when I told them that baby would likely be born today. They had waited so long and were all very eager to meet their baby brother or sister.
Katie and Marilyn (our birth assistant from Cora’s birth) arrived at 8:20am and Heidi arrived soon after. Jennifer, my midwife from Cora’s birth who was also expecting a baby, drove out from Maryland to lend love and support. It was such a special birth team, and as my bedroom filled with morning sunshine while my children played nearby and these four dear women loved on me, I felt such peace that these were the people and this was the glorious day God had sent for us to meet our baby.
Marilyn did some side-lying release and massage for me soon after she arrived. She’s so intuitive with laboring mothers and I appreciated having her by my side. I needed a lot of information during this birth to feel safe and to relax, so I asked for a cervical check. Katie checked me and I was 4cm. My contractions continued over the next several hours but never felt too intense. I spent some time in the birth pool, which was nice and relaxing. The midwives took turns giving me belly lifts to try to get the baby upright to put pressure on my cervix. Our sweet old pup wandered in and out to check on me. I swayed with Daniel and took comfort in him and the kids, who were each so sweet and cared for me like I was a queen at the spa. Owen had made me a loom band bracelet that morning and left it on my nightstand to find. It was a rainbow pattern. He didn’t understand the significance of that until I told him it was the most perfect gift since we were ready to meet our rainbow baby.
At next check I was 7cm. I thought it would be soon that I would go through intense transition and meet my baby since that’s how my other births had been. However, that’s when things slowed a bit. My body was tired after so many contractions and my mind was becoming frustrated that baby didn’t seem to be descending. I kept sensing that baby was floating and not engaging fully. My team reminded me that this was a different birth and baby, as it has shown itself to be all along...but that I was doing a great job and baby was safe and sounded great on Doppler. Still, I was discouraged and fatigued. I sent the children with grandma and grandpa to go jump at Sky Zone and burn off some of their excited energy. Katie encouraged me to have some quiet time with Daniel, so we laid on the bed listening to a Hypnobabies relaxation track and rested together. At some point, around 3:15pm Katie and I had a conversation outside on the deck and we decided breaking my water would be the next step to allow baby to descend. Baby was tolerating labor well, but mentally I was deteriorating and becoming anxious again. She could tell I was ready to meet this baby.
I laid on my back and breathed deeply while Katie ruptured the membranes and Marilyn held the baby in place through my belly because with high amniotic fluid there is a risk of cord prolapse and I had been worried about that. There was so much fluid! I closed my eyes and heard commentary along the lines of wow, it’s still trickling out and no wonder baby hadn’t descended. I felt completely safe and peaceful in those moments. Then all of a sudden (3:30pm by the labor notes in my file), I felt a very strong stirring and an overwhelming urge to get up off the bed and into the water. I told Daniel to call and get the kids home asap. He called for them, and at that point I felt a series of intense waves wash over me while I moved restlessly in the birth pool.
This part was a blur but I do remember feeling helpless against the pain and asking the midwives to give me something for relief, to which I knew the answer but needed to ask it, just as I have at each of my other births. Jennifer knelt by the side of the birth pool and told me in her familiar calm tone, “You know what you’re gonna get? You’re gonna get your baby.” Then Katie looked me right in the eye and with calm conviction told me I could do this, that it was just as God intended and it was my birth plan. I’m so grateful to those women for praying with me and speaking the right words to help me feel empowered and ready to birth my baby. I asked God right then and there to deliver me from the pain and to guide my baby out safely just as I felt the familiar grunt that signaled my body was pushing involuntarily at the end of my contractions.
At that point I began to lean into the pressure waves rather than be a bystander in their path. I curled around my contractions and just when I was beginning to wonder when my pushing would yield tangible results, I reached down and could feel the very top of baby’s head in the birth canal. It startled me with so many wrinkles as it was compressed, so I asked if baby’s head was ok. Yes, they assured me baby was fine and those were normal. I relaxed a bit and became more present with my senses alert, knowing these were to be the final sacred moments that I would ever birth a child. Then I breathed slowly until baby’s head fully emerged. I recall the moment of wonder when I realized we were right there together. I laid back and awaited the next contraction, my baby paused between worlds. I asked where the children were and was told they are on their way. Then I felt the pressure of the next wave building and with that, I gently eased our fourth baby out into my hands and brought the warm, vernix-covered, squishy body up to my chest. 3:40pm. The room was so peaceful and quiet as I caught my breath and reflected with such awe that I had just birthed this tiny human completely by myself and thanked God that she was here. I held her close and hadn’t yet seen her face.
Moments later, the children came in and saw that our baby had been born. Their eyes lit up and their faces softened immediately upon seeing her. Cora’s job was to check if the baby was a boy or a girl, so the first thing she did was peek and shout “It’s a girl!!!!” Then she ran around the house celebrating and telling the grandparents. She had been wishing for a sister, so she was completely over the moon with this discovery of new baby + new sister all in one day. Her sister who was born in the exact same spot where she had been born 5 years prior. All of the children were curious and eager to see and touch her.
After a few minutes, I stepped out of the water to deliver the placenta with a single intentional push. That part is always symbolic for me—one last reminder of my baby’s first home—separating from me in an instant. The kids watched in quiet amazement. Everyone helped me to take a few steps over to my bed and lay down with the baby. It felt so nice to relax in my own bed. The kids surrounded me and Mason cut her umbilical cord, and Owen was the first child to hold her. Each accepted her so warmly into our family, and to be honest they have wanted to be close to her whenever possible ever since. She latched on well and gulped away for her first nursing. She had her newborn exam and weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 19 1/4” long with a 14” head measurement. We praised our Lord for her good health.
We named her Emmeline River Rose. Pronounced the European way (-ine like Evangeline and Josephine). Two middle names just like her sister. Emmy’s namesakes are Emmeline Pankhurst: British suffragette, our angel daughter in heaven: River, and her paternal grandmother: Rose.
Emmeline seeped in to fill the cracks of my heart and was woven into our family tapestry in a way that only God could. 5 years was not the age gap we had planned or wished for, but it has been the most amazing blessing watching the kids care for and love her. They are incredibly helpful and gentle. It was meant to be this way. She is the most beautiful, sweet-natured beam of light that appeared after a time of darkness, and we have held her close since the day we met her. Our rainbow baby carrying the gentle spirits of her angel siblings, which makes her extra special to us…we will cherish her forever.
Much love and gratitude to Heidi Daniels for capturing these treasured photos and the beautiful video below. *photos edited by me